A friend of mine posted a link to 21 Questions Asian People Are Sick Of Answering which really is funny and worth checking out. But made me think of the stupid questions I get as an expat living in the Philippines:
#1 What Hotel Are You Staying In?
I live here! I’ve lived here 9 years. Not all crackers are tourists!
#2 Is Your Name Joe? (or simply “hey Joe!”)
Not all foreigners are named Joe. Not all foreigners are in the Army or ever were. Well, except for Israelis but that’s the exception to the rule.
#3 Taxi Driver: Do You Want Me To Run The Meter?
No, I’m much rather you take the longest route possible to NOT the place I asked you to take me and charge me a fortune for it!
#4 Do You Work In A Call Center?
Not every Filipino works in a call center. So why do you think ever foreigner does too?
I’ve never met you in my life. I’ll probably never see you again. Why in the hell would I want to give you money for Christmas?
#6 You’re Rich, Right?
Not every foreigner is rich, you know, just like not ever Filipino is rich.
#7 You’re Here for Hookers, Right?
Not every foreigner is a “sexpat”. Hell not every foreigner is a tourist. Some of us actually live and work here. And some of those are married with kids. You know, like NORMAL PEOPLE.
#8 Can You Bring Me ________ Balikbayan?
I haven’t been back to the USA in YEARS. Believe it or not, some of us move here and stay here. Just kidding, I hop on my personal LearJet and head back to LA every weekend. You know, b/c I’m a foreigner which means I’m rich!
#9 Do You Like Balot?
This goes both ways. I know Filipino’s that hate it when foreigners ask them that. I always ask them if they’ve ever asked a foreigner if they like Balot. Heh, of course they have. Trust me, if a foreigner happens to actually like Balot, they’ll tell you w/o you having to ask. And to answer the question, in 9 years of living here, I’ve never ONCE eaten Balot. UGH.
#10 Is Your Wife Filipina?
Is yours? Is my wife standing right next to me speaking to you in perfect Tagalog?
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